If you and your partner know someone who is eager to become a surrogate for you, this is an option for you known as identified surrogacy.
You can contact a surrogacy professional today if you’re ready to start your surrogacy journey.
Before letting someone you know carry your baby, there is a lot to consider. This guide will detail the pros and cons of identified surrogacy explain why some intended parents choose independent surrogacy, and note how surrogacy agencies can help you through either type of surrogacy journey.
What is Identified Surrogacy?
Identified surrogacy is when intended parents choose to work with a surrogate they know. Although working with a friend or family member can make the matching stage of your surrogacy easier, identified surrogacy can come with a unique set of challenges.
Are all Intended Surrogacies Independent?
No. You can work with a surrogacy agency even if you already know the surrogate who will carry your baby.
How to do an Independent Surrogacy
If you and your friend or family member decide to pursue independent surrogacy, be prepared to handle all aspects of your surrogacy journey. Although this is possible, identified surrogacy can feel overwhelming for some intended parents. A surrogacy agency will always ensure that:
- You needs and the surrogate’s needs are met
- Your surrogacy is 100% legal
- You and the surrogate are supported during surrogacy screenings
- Everyone receives contact mediation and support throughout your surrogacy journey
Benefits of Independent Surrogacy
Working with a surrogate you know comes with many benefits.
You Can Skip the Matching Stage With Independent Surrogacy
Working with a friend or family member can put you a few steps ahead in your surrogacy journey. This is because you:
- Won’t have to create an intended parent profile
- Don’t need to wait for the perfect match
Intended Parents may Save Some Money
Identified surrogacy can sometimes save people money because you won’t need to use a surrogacy agency’s matching services.
Also, it’s common for friends and family to pursue altruistic surrogacy. Altruistic surrogacy is when a surrogate isn’t compensated for her services. This means she waives the base pay that women in compensated surrogacies receive. It’s common for women in compensated surrogacy agreements to make anywhere from $40,000 to $75,000 for their time and energy.
We want to note, though, that most surrogacy agencies recommend that surrogates receive some compensation on top of the reimbursement they get for surrogacy expenses.
Everyone in the Surrogacy may Feel More at Ease
Independent surrogacy can feel safer because everyone knows each other. You already know your friend or family member will genuinely care about your baby. And the surrogate knows you and your partner care about her well-being.
It’s Easier to Stay in Touch Post-Surrogacy
Although people in independent surrogacy situations can choose to stay in touch post-surrogacy, you can guarantee that you and the surrogate will remain in contact after your baby is born.
Drawbacks of Identified Surrogacy
Although you can benefit from working with a surrogate you know, there are some challenging aspects of choosing identified surrogacy.
There’s the Potential for Financial Disputes and Uncomfortable Feelings
Sometimes, choosing to work with someone you know can lead to uncomfortable financial conversations and hurt feelings. The following are some of the challenges with pursuing independent surrogacy:
- A surrogate may not feel comfortable telling you about what she needs during the surrogacy journey. This could be because she’s trying to help you and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings or take your money.
- Intended parents may also feel pressured and indebted to the surrogate.
To eliminate these common issues, a surrogacy agency will set you and your surrogacy up with separate surrogacy professionals and legal representation to ensure everyone’s interests are protected in the surrogacy agreement.
The Stress of Surrogacy can Cause Old Arguments to Resurface
Although you and the surrogate care about each other, the stress of the surrogacy process can cause arguments. This is sometimes more common with siblings.
When you work with a surrogacy agency, your surrogacy professional will get background information about you and the surrogate to handle any potential interpersonal issues before they become a problem.
Embarking on Your Identified Surrogacy Journey With an Agency
Remember that a surrogacy agency can ensure your independent surrogacy journey goes smoothly.
Contact a surrogacy agency today to find out more.
