Becoming a surrogate is a life-changing journey — and only one you should make when you’re sure that it’s the right path for you.
So, what are some things to consider before being a surrogate?
Surrogacy isn’t right for everyone, and that’s okay. Before you commit to this process, it’s important to ask yourself some key questions if you’re considering being a surrogate.
Contacting a surrogacy professional and discussing your surrogacy options with them is one of the best ways to learn more about this process. If you’re asking, “Should I become a surrogate mother?” consider asking yourself these questions first:
Do I enjoy pregnancy enough to carry a child for someone else?
This is one of the most important things to consider before being a surrogate. After all, the pregnancy experience is the focal point of being a surrogate — so, if you do not enjoy the experience of being pregnant, it will be difficult to have a positive surrogacy experience carrying a child for someone else. However, if you truly enjoy the pregnancy experience and want to be pregnant again without the responsibility of having another child, deciding to be a surrogate may be the right choice for you.
Am I healthy enough to complete another pregnancy?
When you become a surrogate, you will carry a baby for another person — which means you will also carry their hopes and dreams of parenthood. Therefore, it’s of the utmost importance that you have not had any previous pregnancy complications that could put a future surrogate pregnancy at risk, and that you are medically prepared for the challenges of the embryo transfer process and another pregnancy. When you tell a surrogacy professional you are considering being a surrogate, they will discuss your medical background with you and arrange for you to complete necessary medical screenings.
Have my spouse and I completed our family?
Like any pregnancy, a surrogate pregnancy comes with certain risks — including medical complications that could prevent you from having any more children in the future. Therefore, if you’re considering becoming a surrogate mother, you and your spouse will need to discuss your own family plans to ensure that you are comfortable with accepting these possible risks. While these complications are rare, it’s important that you and your spouse will not have to give up on any family dreams you have after you complete your surrogacy process.
Am I ready to commit to the challenges of surrogacy on top of my personal responsibilities?
Surrogacy involves a great deal of commitments, including frequent doctor’s appointments and communication with the intended parents. The process often lasts a year or more. If you are thinking of being a surrogate, you should consider how those new responsibilities will affect your existing responsibilities — as an employee, a mother and any other roles you may serve.
In some ways, it is hard to be a surrogate mother and balance all of these responsibilities — so you should consider how you will do so in your personal life before making this commitment. Think about who you can turn to for assistance with personal responsibilities and discuss your surrogacy responsibilities with those in your life who may be affected by this choice.
Do I meet the requirements to become a surrogate?
An important part of answering the question, “Is surrogacy right for me?” is learning more about the specific requirements to become a surrogate. While every surrogacy professional will have slightly different requirements, in general, a surrogate must:
- Be between the ages of 21 and 35
- Have a healthy BMI
- Have carried one previous successful pregnancy
- Be raising at least one child at home
- Be free of treatable STDS for at least 12 months
- Not be using any alcohol or illegal drugs
Most surrogacy professionals will be happy to speak with you about the more detailed requirements of surrogacy if you’re thinking about being a surrogate, and they can often arrange for any psychological and medical screenings needed to confirm you meet these qualifications. These screenings will always be free to you, whether or not you are approved to become a surrogate.
Do I have the support of family and friends?
Surrogacy is not just a journey that will affect you — it will also affect your spouse, your children, your family and your friends. Therefore, if you are considering being a surrogate, it’s important that you involve the important people in your life in this decision. Being a surrogate without their support will be difficult, so make sure that you answer any questions and are aware of any concerns they have. Their support will be crucial to a successful surrogacy journey and, if they are unable to provide the wholehearted support you need, you might reconsider your surrogacy plans.
What is the reason I want to be a surrogate?
If you’re considering this journey, it’s important to think about the reasons why to become a surrogate — and which of them may apply to your personal surrogacy goals and preferences. In order to successfully be a surrogate, you will need to be completely invested in the process. For most surrogates, the most important reasons to become a surrogate mother are the intrinsic ones.
The best surrogates aren’t the women who enter into the process for surrogate base compensation; they are the women who are selflessly motivated to build another family and, by doing so, make a real difference in the world. For them, the potential challenges and risks of the surrogacy process are well worth it. They often have dreamed of being a surrogate for years and, while the base compensation they receive is helpful, it’s not the main motivation they have.
If you’re considering being a surrogate, you should seriously evaluate the reasons that you want to pursue this journey. Often, surrogacy professionals will discuss these motivations with you to determine whether you’re a good fit for their program. These professionals will also help answer all of the questions you may have at this stage in your surrogacy journey, including one of the most important: “Should I become a surrogate?”
As much support and information that a surrogacy professional can provide, the ultimate decision will be up to you. Start by asking yourself the questions in this article and, if you think you meet the qualifications to successfully be a surrogate, contact a professional to get started today.