If you’re wondering how to be a surrogate for a friend, considering these common surrogacy questions can help you prepare for your upcoming surrogacy journey:
- Legally, can you be a surrogate for a friend?
- What’s the surrogacy cost with a friend?
- Would being a traditional surrogate for my best friend be weird?
- Is becoming a gestational surrogate for a friend safer?
- Are there any additional laws I should know about being a surrogate for a gay friend?
- What are the requirements I’d need to meet if I want to be a surrogate mother for my friend?
- Should I be a surrogate for my friend?
If you and your friend have already discussed surrogacy and are ready to embark on this journey together, you can contact a surrogacy specialist today. But, if you want to find out the answers to common surrogacy questions before talking to a professional, read on:
1. Is Being a Surrogate for a Friend Legal?
Surrogacy laws vary by state, but as long as you and your friend meet the requirements, gestational surrogacy is usually possible. There are several important things you should know about being a surrogate for a friend, however:
- Your relationship will change forever
- You must work with attorneys to create a legal contract
- It’s wise to work with a professional at a surrogacy agency to help you both navigate the process, establish healthy boundaries and preserve your friendship
2. Is There a Surrogacy Cost with a Friend?
Surrogacy can be costly, and talking about finances with someone you’re close with can be awkward. That’s why it’s a good idea to involve a professional like a surrogacy agency.
You might be considering being an altruistic surrogate for your friend, meaning you wouldn’t accept compensation outside of reimbursement for pregnancy- and surrogacy-related expenses. However, this can cause some serious issues in your friendship. That’s why some amount of compensation is usually encouraged, even among friends.
A surrogacy professional at an agency will provide you with a surrogacy attorney who can draft a contract that details financial matters, like:
- Whose insurance covers what medical fees
- When your doctor copays will be reimbursed
- And more
3. Is Traditional Surrogacy for a Friend Weird?
A traditional surrogate is the biological mother of the child. This type of surrogacy is challenging because:
- It can complicate the emotions you have during your surrogacy journey
- It often creates emotional struggles between the surrogate, intended parent, and the child
- It’s illegal in some states
- Few professionals complete traditional surrogacies
For these reasons, traditional surrogacy is illegal in most states. Traditional surrogacy is always emotionally and legally risky, and friendship further complicates it.
4. Is Gestational Surrogacy for a Friend Safer?
Being a gestational surrogate for a friend is safer for everyone involved. You’ll also:
- Have less trouble finding surrogacy professionals to help you complete the process
- Fewer legal snags
- Access to more surrogacy professionals
- A smoother emotional experience
Gestational surrogates often say the experience feels more like “babysitting” and experience joy when they hand their friend’s child to them for the first time.
5. Are There any Additional Laws I Should Know About When Being a Surrogate for a Gay Friend?
Your friend is probably aware that some states have laws that make surrogacy for LGBTQ families trickier. Primarily, they may need to complete additional legal steps to ensure the safety of their family.
6. Should I be a Surrogate for my Friend?
Many women who wonder how to be a surrogate for a friend and are concerned if it’s a good idea may feel pressured to say “yes” to their friend, who has likely been through a lot.
It’s hard to say no to someone you love, but if being a surrogate for your friend (or being a surrogate at all) isn’t right for you, you should say no.
7. What are the Requirements I’d Need to Meet if I Want to go Through Surrogacy for a Friend?
While the requirements you’d need to meet can vary somewhat depending on the state you live in and the professional you work with, you’ll generally need to:
- Be between the ages of 21-43
- Had at least one successful pregnancy, but no more than five vaginal births and no more than four Caesarean births
- Be currently raising a child
- Had no major complications from previous pregnancies
- Have no felony convictions
Surrogacy requirements are in place to keep you, your friend, and your friend’s future baby safe and healthy. If you don’t meet those requirements, there are surrogates out there who do, so don’t worry!