If you’re thinking about gestational surrogacy, you may already have all the qualities of a good surrogate mother — but do you really know how to be a good surrogate, especially if this is your first journey?
We’re here to help. While what makes a good surrogate mother can vary from person to person, there are a few common qualities most likely to lead to success. Being a good surrogate can take time and effort but, in the end, it makes the surrogacy journey so much better for everyone involved.
Here, find a few tips on how to be a good surrogate in a modern gestational surrogacy. For more advice, you can always reach out to a surrogacy professional for free.
1. Always Be Honest.
When you first consider surrogacy, you’ll have to go through some detailed application processes. While any woman can have the desire to carry for intended parents, not all women are eligible — and these background checks and clearances determine eligibility. Even if you believe you have what it takes to be a great surrogate, you must meet all the requirements for surrogacy, first.
So, what are some ways to be a good surrogate mother during this process? Be honest with your surrogacy professional. Yes, it can be awkward at first to share your medical history and personal secrets with a surrogacy professional and intended parents. But, when you’re a gestational carrier, you must accept a certain lack of privacy. Surrogacy is an intimate journey that you will take with intended parents, and you should be ready to share personal and medical information throughout the process ahead.
To start yourself off on the right foot, you need to be 100 percent honest with your surrogacy professional and your intended parents. The truth will come out. Should you fib or omit information at any point, you will likely disqualify yourself from the surrogacy process completely.
2. Put Your Health First.
Being a surrogate is hard work. You need to balance your everyday responsibilities as a mother and/or employee with the new responsibilities of pregnancy, medical appointments, and your relationship with your intended parents.
So, what are good strengths to have to be a surrogate? You will need to recognize that your health comes before anything else. You must follow the steps for having a healthy pregnancy, no matter how it may impact your current lifestyle. Remember, even though the baby you carry is not your own, you are the only one responsible for its health during the nine months it develops in your body.
3. Be Organized.
But, how do you balance your health with all your life responsibilities?
One of the most important qualities of a good surrogate mother is organization. There’s a lot involved in being a surrogate, and it’s important that you have the ability to balance all those responsibilities. Your surrogacy professional will talk to you at length about what to expect before you get started, but you should have the support systems in place to manage your upcoming journey.
Being organized with medical appointments, calls, bills and more will be a life-saver as you go through the surrogacy process. And your intended parents will thank you, too!
4. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate.
Speaking of intended parents — there is nothing quite like the relationship between a gestational carrier and the parents she is carrying for. But this relationship can only exist when there is true honesty and communication between both parties.
Maintaining a positive relationship with your intended parents is a crucial part of how to be a good surrogate. Your intended parents have likely gone through a lot before they decided on gestational surrogacy; it may be their last chance to have a genetically related child. They probably feel all kinds of emotions — excitement, fear, anxiety, and hope — and you are a crucial part of creating the best journey possible.
If you have a set contact schedule with your intended parents, stick to it. Invite them to your doctor’s appointments, and send them ultrasound pictures and other documentation from your pregnancy. Try to understand where they are coming from — and help them feel a part of their child’s development, especially because they aren’t pregnant themselves.
5. Create (and Lean On) Your Support System.
It can be tough being a surrogate. Unless you know other surrogates, it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one who understands what you’re going through.
For your own sake, don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Create a support system of your spouse, close friends and family; they should be willing to watch your kids while you’re at appointments and take some of your everyday responsibilities off your shoulders. It can also be nice to talk to someone about your journey who is not your intended parent or surrogacy professional.
Make sure the people involved in your surrogacy support system are 100 percent supportive of your decision. And don’t hesitate to ask them for something when you need it; acknowledging the reality of your situation is one of the crucial traits for a good surrogate. That way, you can always receive the help you may need.
6. Enjoy the Journey!
You want to know one of the best ways to be a good surrogate mother? Take the time to enjoy the journey — and share your excitement with your intended parents, friends and family, and anyone who will listen!
It’s easy to get caught up in the little details of your surrogacy journey, but don’t forget why you chose this path in the first place. Appreciation, excitement and love is what makes a good surrogate mother — and a surrogacy journey that you will enjoy every step of the way. When that little baby is born, you’ll be so proud of yourself for the decision that you’ve made.
Want more tips to be a good surrogate mother? Contact a surrogacy professional today.