While what makes a good surrogate mother can vary from person to person, there are a few common qualities most likely to lead to success:
- Be patient
- Always be honest
- Put your health first
- Be organized
- Communicate, communicate, communicate
- Create (and lean on) your support system
- Enjoy the journey
Being a good surrogate can take time and effort, but, in the end, it makes the surrogacy journey so much better for everyone involved.
Continue reading to discover a few tips on how to be a good surrogate in a modern gestational surrogacy. Also: Never hesitate to reach out to a surrogacy professional for more advice.
7 Ways to Be a Good Surrogate Mother
1. Be Patient
When you first consider surrogacy, you’ll have to go through detailed application processes.
While any woman can have the desire to carry for intended parents, not all women are eligible or have the patience to undergo the background checks and clearances that determine eligibility.
Even if you believe you have what it takes to be a great surrogate, you must practice patience and meet all the requirements for surrogacy first. While this may be frustrating, remember that all of the qualifications to be a surrogate exist to protect you. The safer this process is, the better experience you will have.
2. Be Honest With Your Surrogacy Professional
You may feel awkward about sharing your medical history and personal secrets with a surrogacy professional and intended parents. But, surrogacy is an intimate journey that you will take with intended parents, and it’s important to prepare yourself to share personal and medical information throughout the process.
To start yourself off on the right foot and to have a successful surrogacy application process, you need to be 100 percent honest with your surrogacy professional and your intended parents.
3. Put Your Health First
Being a surrogate is hard, but rewarding, work. You’ll need to balance your everyday responsibilities as a mother and/or employee with:
- The new responsibilities of pregnancy
- Medical appointments
- Relationship with your intended parents
So, what are good strengths to have to be a surrogate? You will always need to put your health before anything else. You must follow the steps for having a healthy pregnancy, no matter how it may impact your current lifestyle.
Even though the baby you carry is not your own, you are responsible for their health during these very special nine months while they develop in your body.
4. Be Organized
There’s a lot involved in being a surrogate, and it’s important for you to balance these responsibilities. And although your surrogacy professional will talk to you about what to expect before you get started, you should be prepared to manage your upcoming journey.
For example, you’ll need to organize your:
- Medical appointments
- And more
Organization will be a life-saver as you go through the surrogacy process. And the intended parents will appreciate your efforts, too!
5. Communicate, Communicate, Communicate
There is nothing quite like the relationship between a gestational carrier and the parents she is carrying for. But this relationship can only exist when there is true honesty and communication between both parties.
Maintaining a positive relationship with the intended parents is crucial for being a good surrogate. The intended parents you work with most likely went through a lot before deciding on gestational surrogacy, and they probably are feeling many emotions.
You are a crucial part of creating the best journey possible and can help make the process go smoother by doing the following:
- If you have a set contact schedule with your intended parents, stick to it
- Invite them to your doctor’s appointments
- Send them ultrasound pictures and other documentation from your pregnancy
Try to understand where they are coming from and include them in their child’s development.
6. Create (and Lean On) Your Support System
It can be tough being a surrogate. Unless you know other surrogates, it’s easy to feel like you’re the only one who understands what you’re going through.
Don’t be afraid to reach out for help. Create a support system that includes your:
- Close friends
Your support system should be willing to watch your kids while you’re at appointments and take on some of your everyday responsibilities. It can also be nice to talk to someone about your journey that is not your intended parent or surrogacy professional.
Make sure the people involved in your surrogacy support system are 100% supportive of your decision. And don’t hesitate to ask them for something when you need it; acknowledging the reality of your situation is one of the crucial traits of a good surrogate. That way, you can always receive the help you may need.
7. Enjoy the Journey!
The best way to be a good surrogate mother is to take the time to enjoy the journey and share your excitement with your intended parents, friends and family, and anyone who wants to know about your experience!
It’s easy to get caught up in the little details of your surrogacy journey, but don’t forget why you chose this path in the first place.
Remember that appreciation, excitement, and love help create an enjoyable surrogacy journey for everyone.
Want more tips on being a good surrogate mother? Contact a surrogacy professional today.