If you’re a surrogate looking for intended parents, you’ve come to the right place. In this article, you’ll find all the information you need about how to find intended parents that will be perfect for your surrogacy goals and preferences.
Finding intended parents is arguably one of the most important steps of the surrogacy process. You will work closely with these people for a year or more, going through some of the most intimate procedures together and building a close, genuine relationship based on trust and respect. To make your surrogacy as successful as possible, therefore, it’s important that you find intended parents who meet your own hopes and goals for the surrogacy process.
In general, when you’re a surrogate mother looking for intended parents, there are two ways you can go about finding intended parents who are a perfect fit for you.
Finding Intended Parents with an Agency
Knowing how to find intended parents can be complicated and overwhelming, especially for first-time surrogates. How do you find intended parents who are perfect for you, and how do you know that they’re truly ready for the challenges of the surrogacy process?
One of the best ways to find intended parents safely and efficiently is to work with a professional surrogacy agency. A surrogacy agency can provide support and guidance through every step of your surrogacy journey and, when you choose them to help you find intended parents, you will know that every intended parent presented to you fits your expectations and is pre-screened and ready to start the surrogacy process.
Finding intended parents with a surrogacy agency will always be completely free to you as a prospective surrogate. While each professional will be different, here’s what your general process will look like:
- Create a Surrogacy Plan.
When you first contact a surrogacy agency about being a surrogate, you will discuss your personal surrogacy goals and expectations with a surrogacy specialist. This specialist will help you create a surrogacy plan that details what your entire surrogacy journey will look like. This plan will also include your desires for intended parents, including:
- Their race
- Their marital status
- Whether they already have kids
- Where they live
- How old they are
- And more
Using these characteristics, your surrogacy specialist will start building a profile of what prospective intended parents would look like for you — and then will start searching for matches that fit your desires. Remember, while some specific characteristics may increase the time you wait to find a match, you will always have the right to set those standards. Working with the right intended parents from the start is integral to a successful surrogacy journey.
- Create a Surrogate Profile.
Your surrogacy agency may require you to create a surrogate profile that can be shown to intended parents who meet your preferences. This profile will detail who you are, what you’re looking for in a surrogacy journey and why you’ve decided to become a surrogate. If they require it, your surrogacy agency will help you create this profile to be as informative and aesthetically pleasing as possible. After all, this will be the first impression that intended parents have of you and will help them decide if you could be a potential match for them.
- Find a Match.
Just as your surrogate profile may be shown to intended parents, your surrogacy specialist will show you intended parent profiles. This is an important step of finding intended parents, because their profile will give you a better idea of who they are and whether you think they may be a good match for you. Remember, they will already be pre-screened and meet your surrogacy preferences. If you decide that the intended parents presented to you may be a good match, you will move forward with the next step.
- Get to Know the Intended Parents.
Before your match is final, you will be given the chance to get to know the intended parents. Typically, this will be through a phone call or in-person meeting mediated by your surrogacy professional. You will have the chance to ask any additional questions you may have and learn more about the intended parents to make sure they are the right choice for you.
- Finalize Your Match.
Once you and the intended parents agree that you are a good match for each other, your surrogacy professional will connect you with a surrogacy attorney to finalize your match with a surrogacy contract. Once the contract is signed and all the specifics of your journey are decided upon, you will be ready to start the medical process of surrogacy!
Many surrogates find that the support and guidance a surrogacy agency provides during this step is incredibly helpful for finding intended parents that are perfect for their preferences. The knowledge that these intended parents are screened and ready for the surrogacy process also helps prevent additional delays in a surrogacy journey.
Finding Intended Parents on Your Own
While the benefits of finding intended parents with an agency can’t be overstated, some surrogates choose to find intended parents independently. This will require a bit more personal responsibility and work but, for surrogates who want to take on those tasks, this can be the best path for them.
Many of the same steps apply if you’re a surrogate mother looking for intended parents independently. However, it’s likely that the intended parents you find online or through a similar method are not already screened for the surrogacy process. You will need to work with them to make sure both of you will be approved for the surrogacy process before moving forward with a surrogacy contract.
There are a few methods through which you can find intended parents on your own:
- Online through social media and surrogacy listings
- With a surrogacy attorney
- With a fertility clinic
- Word of mouth, or by working with a friend or family member
Finding intended parents on your own may take longer than through a surrogacy agency, given an agency’s large advertising and marketing outreach. You will need to be prepared for asking difficult and sometimes uncomfortable questions to make sure intended parents are right for you, because you will not have a professional to mediate those sensitive conversations. Once you find intended parents, you will also need to work closely with them to make sure every necessary step of the surrogacy process is taken care of. Know that even if you find intended parents on your own, you can still work with a surrogacy agency for the rest of the process, including completing any surrogacy screening that’s required.
If you’re not sure which process of finding intended parents is right for you, consider contacting a surrogacy professional to learn more about the services they offer and to think about whether you are able to handle those responsibilities on your own. Many surrogates have successfully found intended parents both with agencies and independently; it’s all about finding the path that you’re comfortable with in this life-changing process.