If you’ve seen your family member try hard to become a parent for months, you may wonder how to become a surrogate for a family member.
Before you begin your surrogacy journey, you’ll need to consider these five common surrogacy questions to understand the complex journey you’re about to embark on:
- What are the surrogacy laws in my state?
- Am I prepared for the challenges of the surrogacy process?
- Do I want to work with a surrogacy agency or independently?
- Do I want to receive financial compensation from my family?
- Is it incest to be a surrogate mother for a family member?
If you know you’re ready to become a surrogate for family, you can contact a surrogate specialist today. But, if you want to learn more about the surrogacy journey, continue reading.
1. What are the Surrogacy Laws in My State?
Fortunately, most surrogacy laws in the United States do not set any additional requirements for those who are related or have a close relationship with their surrogate or intended parents.
As long as you both are committed to the surrogacy process, your family connection will not impact your ability to complete a gestational surrogacy (one in which you’re not related to the baby) in your state.
Make sure you speak with a surrogacy attorney to understand the legal situation if you’re thinking about being a surrogate mother for a family member.
2. Am I Prepared for the Challenges of the Surrogacy Process?
While it can be humbling to be asked to be a surrogate for a family member, it is also a huge commitment.
The process includes:
- At least a year of screenings
- Medical procedures
- Legal actions
- Emotional considerations
- And more
Starting the Surrogacy Process
Most of the surrogacy process is the same if you act as a surrogate for family. While you will have already found intended parents, you still need to decide:
- What kind of surrogacy professionals you wish to use
- Complete the necessary screening to be approved for surrogacy
- Finalize a legal surrogacy contract
- Go through the medical process of surrogacy
- Carry a pregnancy to term
Surrogacy is an emotionally and physically demanding process for both surrogates and intended parents. While you will benefit from a strong, established relationship with your intended parents, the process can still take a lot out of you and your family member.
Before committing to this process, you and the intended parents should speak with a surrogacy professional to learn more about what you will have to do during this journey.
3. Do I Want to Work with a Surrogacy Agency or Independently?
As a surrogate mother for a family member, you’ve already found your intended parents, so you may initially think you do not need the assistance of a surrogacy agency. However, the benefits of a surrogacy agency extend beyond matching, especially if you are entering into the surrogacy experience for the first time.
The Challenges of Independent Surrogacy
If you choose independent surrogacy, you and your family member will be responsible for all the steps of the surrogacy process, including:
- Finding professionals
- Coordinating services between each surrogacy professional
- Professional mediation for some of the more sensitive aspects of the surrogacy journey
- Negotiating the surrogacy contract
- And more
Many surrogates and intended parents find that the support and guidance of a surrogacy agency allow them to focus on staying healthy, maintaining a positive relationship, and bringing a baby into the world, rather than the minute details.
4. Do I Want to Receive Financial Compensation From my Family?
One of the main things women questioning how to become a surrogate for a family member think about is financial compensation.
Women who become a surrogate for family can choose to have an:
Sometimes, a woman who decides to pursue becoming a surrogate mother for a family member may feel uncomfortable taking money from someone for whom she cares. However, you should only pursue an altruistic surrogacy (where a surrogate receives no base compensation) after considering the pros and cons of the process.
It’s normal if you feel awkward about receiving base compensation from your family, but this compensation can be very beneficial in preventing future complications.
Before you and your intended parents pursue an altruistic surrogacy, you should consider speaking with a surrogacy professional and separate surrogacy attorneys for advice. They can help you agree on a compensation amount that you and the intended parents are comfortable with.
5. Is it Incest to be a Surrogate Mother for a Family Member?
An intended parent never has intercourse with a surrogate in any situation. Surrogates become pregnant through an embryo transfer in a fertility clinic. In the gestational surrogacy process, the surrogate has no biological relationship to the child.
Understanding the Unique Circumstances of Being a Gestational Surrogate for Family
Surrogacy is an intimate, life-changing process, and committing to surrogacy with a family member will also change your relationship with them.
Although you will have a close relationship with your intended parents, you will also need to set clear boundaries with your family.
Again, honest communication is important to ensure:
- You don’t feel like your privacy and space are breeched
- The intended parents don’t feel like you are excluding them from your surrogacy experience
Next Steps Toward Becoming a Surrogate Mother for a Family Member
Any surrogacy will only be successful if you and the intended parents are fully prepared for the challenges and rewards ahead.
You can contact us today if you’re ready to start your surrogacy journey with your family.