LGBTQ Parenting after Surrogacy
Becoming a parent through surrogacy means that you will have the newborn baby that you have dreamed about.
To get more information about becoming LGBT parents through surrogacy, you can reach out to a surrogacy professional today.
While becoming parents through surrogacy is exciting, it can also make potential new parents nervous—the challenges that come with LGBTQ parenting through surrogacy are unique, and as an LGBTQ couple, you may have already faced barriers that others have not.
But there is good news—many LGBTQ couples have already chosen surrogacy and adoption, and raised healthy, happy children. In this article, we will share some of the wisdom that surrogacy and adoption professionals and LGBTQ parents have gained so that you can become the best parent possible.
How to Prepare as Intended Parents
As intended parents through surrogacy, there are several necessary steps to have a child.
The first is often to get in contact with a surrogacy agency and get information.
You can find information on choosing an adoption agency here and a list of gay-friendly surrogacy agencies here.
Becoming Parents through Surrogacy
Once you have found an agency that fits your needs, you will be on your journey to parenthood.
A great surrogacy agency will walk you through the steps of surrogacy, including:
- Determining where your embryo will come from
- Finding a surrogate
- The legal steps of surrogacy
- Embryo transfer
- Birth plans and legal finalization
- Bringing home your baby
LGBTQ Parent Support
Your surrogacy specialist will be your number one supporter in your surrogacy process. This person will help you as you find a surrogate, who will become a large part of your life for several months or longer, and help you connect.
Many surrogacy agencies can provide support to LGBTQ couples, and as you speak to surrogacy agencies, it is important to find an agency and surrogacy specialist that you trust and feel comfortable with.
As an LGBTQ parent, you might need additional resources, including:
- Legal support—legal processes for surrogacy vary from state to state, especially for LGBTQ couples. Your legal experts may need to be knowledgeable in surrogacy as well as adoption law depending on your location.
- Counseling—every new parent can use someone in their corner as they make decisions, but as a member of the LGBTQ community, this support can be all the more important, especially if you face any resistance or judgment from your family or community
LGBTQ Parenting through Surrogacy
Surrogacy professionals who are also trained in social work can be especially good at helping you build a foundation so that your child grows up with a healthy understanding of their birth story and a strong foundation to build their identity. Adoption and surrogacy professionals generally recommend the following:
- Normalize your child’s birth and surrogacy story. Talking about your child’s birth and surrogacy story early on can help them develop a positive narrative and understanding of their birth. Keeping secrets or trying to shield them from their story can lead to questions and confusion later on.
- Normalize having LGBTQ parents and family. LGBTQ parenting can be beautiful, but you may be the only gay couple at meet-the-parent nights or social gatherings. Being different is not bad, but normalizing your family structure early can be instrumental in helping your child understand this. Having movies, TV shows, and books that reflect your family structure can help children feel more confident about their family.
- Be open to conversations about the positives and challenges of having LGBTQ parents. Being open about your own identity and life can ultimately help children understand themselves better. While every parent hopes that their child will not face prejudice or ignorance, it is also important to prepare your child for those situations, just in case. Learning what they might hear and how to respond can help your child navigate new situations in helpful and positive ways.
- Prepare your child for possible peers’ responses. Bullying can happen for all kinds of reasons, and having LGBTQ parents may be something that children are targeted for– not all children are raised to believe that differences should be celebrated. Even if your child is proud of their parents, the bullying can erode self-confidence, so talking to your child about these situations and how to respond is key.
LGBTQ Parenting Resources
Parenting is a long journey—it is important to find community support. These resources can be great a great start to find information on gay parenting and parenting in the LGBTQ community: